Blessed, Ashamed, Comforted, Forgiven

Blessed, Ashamed, Comforted, Forgiven

    As I headed to work today this is the feelings that spun through my heart as I drove away from a stranded man. As I was driving the icy roads to work, the ones in which most just shouldn't be out on. the roads were really bad, very slick and packed. The state usually took better care to maintain them better but this season or this year it simply wasn't happening, someone dropped the ball. Regardless I was driving behind a vehicle that shouldn't have been on the roads. barely moving along at a snail's pace. I could've passed them but didn't wanna risk spooking them and causing them to have an accident so I elected to be patient and wait behind. As my worship music is playing over the radio I continue to fight off flesh and frustration for having to wait on this person who shouldn't be out in this weather. I used Siri to call my boss to let him know I'm on my way like I expected he was and he was. I told him I would be there soon. I then slow even more cause the car in front of me is slowing due to another car half-way in the ditch. I thought sarcastically, Great another car that shouldn't be on the roads. I tell my boss I'm gonna stop and help the man and I stop and get out to do so, the man meets me at back of my truck saying he doesn't need help a wrecker is on the way. I ask are ya sure i can pull ya out but he said yea I'm good they just text and said they were 5 minutes out. I said ok and left.

    Now in my mind there was a continual thinking of what was going on in my world. late to work due to roads, not really happy about having to go in when the rest of the City was off cause they were deemed unnecessary. worried about my pipes at home due to them being frozen up for two days. worried that I'd have enough wood for this cold spell. thinking about needing to fix that roof on my goats pen. All these worldly concerns going through my head right now, not once during this time did I actually think of this Man. All I thought about this man was worldly judgement of how he presented himself, cocky, worldly man, not a man of church for sure. This man who was a child of God as I am. I was polite sure but was I Godly? I was offering to help that's a good thing, but was I really thinking of God's work? Sure we all do this type of thing from time to time, but that's not who God has called me to be, that's not who God has called you to be. See I'm finding myself at this place I don't wanna be this Good Worldly man that everyone says he's Godly. I wanna be the Man God has created me to be. The approval of the world isn't what I want for myself. I must standup to obtain Christlikeness. Impossible, sure, for me it is, but though Christ I can be as He is, was, & will always be. 

    As I got in the Truck to pull away from this man I felt ashamed, then I felt comforted, then as I realized how blessed I am, then ultimately that I was forgiven. You say what for? Well I didn't display God to this man in any way, shape, or form. I could've simply said God Bless you but not even that did I do. Over and over the things I could've, should've done to display God's love to this man. Yes the enemy was condemning me this way and that, but as quick as I felt the condemnation of the enemy I felt the Love of God over me with utter comfort. As I realized the comfort He blanketed me with and how sweet that feeling engulfed my entire being, my soul! I wondered how I felt this comfort like this in a time of complete and utter failure. Yes, I had failed Him in the walk He placed on me at that very moment, I failed! He then as quick as the thought came over me He gave me the answer. I seen myself as a child that scraped his knee up doing something I shouldn't have been doing, but here was the Father holding me in comfort letting me know how entirely & completely I am blessed. He was right there and then showing me my blessing in the matter of seconds of the condemnation of the enemy and He showed me I was His. He showed me I am FORGIVEN!

Thank you Father for all you have given me and continue to give in all my days. I praise you and give you my worship all I can. please help me to achieve even more of what you want from me in the days to come. I give you me Father!