Tonight at Greenwood Bible College week one of 4th semester, binding and losing. I was overwhelmed by the presence of the Holy Spirit tonight that’s just indescribable. The presence of him just over took me tonight in a way he never has before. He’s blessed me so much in feeling his presence and discerning his voice. I know he’s training me for his army to one day fight and that fight is happening now. I literally shook and weeped like never before. I didn’t know what to think the more he grows in me the more I grow towards and in him. The presence of the Lord has been in me before but this is so much more than anything I could describe.

Thank you Father for all your blessings.

Amen!!!

Today is day 64 of my fast and day 24 of the 40 day prayer.

I have found a new level of humility that’s involved in my devotion to my fasting and my time in the word all compounded with prayer. The Lord is my strength as I wake each day and give my all to him. I choose to serve him in all I am and he humbles me so much but still gives me more strength than I ever thought possible. I give him all the honor and glory in my life. I am only sustained by his grace and mercy, which he pours out on me daily. I may still fight my flesh daily but he gives me the strength to overcome. In all these days I have found a new life in prayer and he’s gave me conviction to be in the word more and pray for me to change me rather than others to change for me. I’ve found new revelation in getting on my knees to pray rather than just praying how I was or am at any time. There’s nothing wrong with praying as I am at anytime but in times of fervent and diligent prayer I must get on my knees to give him all the honor and glory and completely submit myself to him in all I am. The bending of the knee is the start of humbling myself to him and placing him above me where he rightfully belongs. As I kneel I give him the glory he deserves and I see that he is the Father of all. He doesn’t demand I kneel but if I want to truly show him more reverence and honor I choose to kneel to give him my all, just as I would lay my problems at the foot of the cross, I lay myself at the foot of the cross every time I kneel. We must daily seek him in all we do, especially when we are going to him in prayer. No matter if we are just giving praise and honor or seeking out guidance, we should give him what is his and that is (the entirety of who we are). I feel a new piece of all I am in Christ as I kneel and give him myself entirely. He’s given me the gift of being baptized in the Spirit (3-17-19 day 56) and it’s spoke volumes to my walk and my prayer life. Through my prayers I give him all I am capable of and the Spirit gives what I’m not capable of as I pray in the Spirit. 

I have found I strength in my faith as I yield to the Spirit in prayer. As I pray for the health and deliverance of my family he strengthens my faith and my knowledge of all Christ has given us through the atonement. We are complete through the atonement all we have to do is receive it and exercise our faith in prayer, admiration, study of the word, fasting, honor, glory, & humility. I’ve found all this so overwhelming in so many ways that so much is just simply indescribable in words. I know the Lord knows my heart and his Spirit can discern my heart in all matters. 

Thank you Father for all you have graced me with. 

Amen!!!

Fasting-Prayer

Day Two of my 40 day of prayer for community churches and pastors and wives. Day 42 of fasting. I have had so much happen during this fast it’s just unbelievable. I started out praying in late November for a fast because I felt it on my heart over the last year. I didn’t wanna do it with others in January as most do. I wanted it to be a time for me and the Lord to grow together. I’m a bit competitive so I wanted to do it on my own. I started with a 21 day fast in mind and set the date to start on February 1st. I soon realized in late January that the Lord wanted me to make it 40 days, so I made the commitment. The Lord made it really peaceful for me at first then my flesh started to rise up after first week, but I reach out to the Lord and he sustained me with a renewed peace. I done good from that point on with my fast. I’m just doing a standard Daniel Fast no breads (leavened), no meat, no dairy, and no sugar. I did hang on to my caffeine until day 24 and now I’m doing no caffeine as well. As I closed in on day 21 I felt the lord wanted me to continue my fast I had listed day 40 on my calendar and wrote out day 50,60,70,80,90,100,110,&120 & felt lead to stop there. I prayed to see if that’s where the Lord wants me to go, but to no avail, no answer. I just didn’t know his answer as to when to stop. I feel I was just competing with my self to prove I could do it for a while but the Lord has made it relatively easy for me with peace in my heart about it. I think he’s just bringing me to a place of realizing how much unhealthy foods I eat. And not to gluten myself. I do feel that I’ve got some changes to make and don’t think I’ll have issues with some of them I just have to stay conscious of myself as I grow. I have held onto my tobacco and know he wants me to let it go. I did for a week or so but soon came back to it, it’s been a struggle. I know he’s delivered me from it, now it’s just in me. I feel this is also a reason to extend the fast cause he wants me totally reliant on him and not things desired in my flesh. As this has gone on I felt the Lord working on me in many areas. Fasting in the understanding of it and why to fast. Prayer most strongly I believe this is the key focus he wants me in this year. I feel last year it was unity and to spread and share that with everyone, and don’t think I’m to stop with unity either but to continue with it as well. Now it’s prayer he wants me to spread and share. I also think he shard “the word” for me as well but I think this is something he has just for me to work on for myself. Even though it should be for us all he wants me to focus on this one for me. All this revelation has come to me around the 21 day mark, but then around day 25 the Lord really laid on my heart prayer and intercessory prayer most specifically. I spoke with the pastor on day 28 about this and several other things but he told me about this 40 days of prayer and I should hook up with Greg and I felt a definite yes to that so I did. I was currently reading a book by Larry Lea “you could not terry one hour” and it drew me into prayer even more and also read “play the man” by Mark Batterson that drew me in more. As I continued to pray this Prayer was coming up as even more persistent in my spirit. I continue with my tobacco and he Lord is telling me about it and convicting me and I keep fighting in my flesh, but yet he still blesses me with peace in my fast and continuing to loose weight. I so happy but still so conflicted as to why I hang on to it. He continues to love me and bless me with such a growth in all areas and I thank him so much for his grace and mercy. I know he has me where he does for a reason. He wants me to rely on him entirely and not my fleshly desires. I know it will happen I just have to gain the strength to overcome myself (flesh). I’m sure he has me where he does to keep me submissive to him so I can learn to overcome my flesh. I’ve been reliant on my fleshly desires for over 27+ years now. I will continue to be faithful in my fast cause I know he’s shown me so much he has for me. I finished up my Level 1 ICIT training 1.5 weeks ago and soon start Level 2. I’m so excited. I love the Lord so much for all he’s given me and all he’s shown me. He continues to overwhelm me with his blessings. I know when the time is right he will let me know when to stop my fast. I just gotta be yielded to the spirit.

Prayer is amazing, I fell it as a longing, a must have in my life now. I haven’t always been the best at prayer I pray daily but not to specifically. I have always asked for my needs and needs of others but have drastically grown in my prayer life over the last couple of years. First it was me me me and we we we and for the ones I loved. Not too much for others unless someone asked and I would then give a shout out for that person in a short burst without specifics cause I never asked. I began to get more specifics as I grew but just wasn’t to disaplined with it. I now see how I should be shooting at the bulls eye and not just at the stage it sets on. Larry Lea is fantastic in his discription of the Lord’s Prayer, and how to implement that into all my prayers as Jesus told us too. I’m now putting together my outline to be more specific in my prayers. I was fighting leagalistic veiws of doing that but soon realized this is just a tool to get me started till I get my feet wet and learn the basics and start to adapt it for my prayers as the Spirit leads me. I’m so excited and so pumped up about my prayer life it just overwhelms me. I wanna pray for everyone and everything but am not yet quite prepared for that level of prayer I don’t think but know the Spirit is leading me there and preparing me. I soon will be. As the 40 days of fasting approached I grew stronger and stronger in my desires for the 40 days of prayer to start. Then my 41st day of the fast I started the 40 days of prayer, so I really felt the Lord had another 40 days of fasting laid out for me but still no definite date on that for now, just reliant on him. So the awesomeness of day one prayer. I kneed in church and started by preparing myself and taking communion when I was ready. Then I began to pray. I wasn’t gonna do my 40 days of prayer just what the church has listed in prayer sheet but as I did I felt lead to start the 40 day prayer. As I began I prayed corperatly for the churches pastors and their wives and families. As I covered all that Greg had listed out for our nations, congregations and pastors I began to call out the churches individually and had a couple of specifics that the Spirit had brought to me as I covered the church names. But when I got to the pastors I began to see visions or images however you wanna discribe it I seen it. I seen 12+ different things about pastors and families and financial issues and congregational issues and marital issues and health issues and on and on. I was overwhelmed by why the Spirit was showing me. I didn’t hang onto too much I just lifted them up and let the Holy Spirit lead the prayer as I prayed for each issue he showed me as it came. I was just so overwhelmed I didn’t even begin to process it much till later in the day. I was thinking Lord if you got this for me on day one what else is gonna happen tomorrow and by the end of this. He is so amazing. I see so much gonna happen during this 40 days I can’t hardly wait till the next day and on day two he showed me a little but nothing like day 1. The Lord is great and I know this is just gonna be amazing. I’m all here and ready to submit myself to him for others not myself, but I have to admit I’m excited for me too cause the Lord has blessed me with being able to do this for others in need and for our community to unite in him as the body of Christ in this community.

I say use me lord use me.